Category: Divorce

Moving Forward

07/30/2013

You may have heard about a captivating poster series created by graphic designer, Khoa Ho, that depicts the origins of various superheroes. What I love about these thought-provoking posters is that they are simple, yet powerful. Children could look at these images and understand the general message. However, school counselor friends, I think we could go beyond that.

As described on Khoa Ho's website, "everyone has a memory, a past. It's the driving force behind all of our actions for our present, our future." That statement got my school counselor wheels turning - isn't that what we teach our students?! Our experiences shape our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and understanding that connection can help unlock the secret to making better choices. These posters reinforce that "despite the trials of our past, what we choose to do moving forward is much more important to us and the world we share."

So, you could use the superhero images to introduce a variety of topics: identifying and expressing feelings, positive school behaviors, making and keeping friends, self-esteem, etc. I often use superheroes (and other pop culture references) to address the ASCA standards. Kids love it and more importantly, remember it.

One activity could be a self-portrait, like the example on the right. Start by having students draw a basic outline of themselves in pencil. This is who they are now, which can be represented in a specific pose. Then, have students reflect on what caused that change. How did they become the person they are today? That image is put inside their bigger drawing. The example shows a confident, independent person who is not afraid to be noticed, which came from being singled out and teased. I would use this activity with my older students (4th - 6th).

"It's not who you are underneath. It's what you do that defines you." - Batman Begins

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Film Review: Professor Child

06/21/2013

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Last night, I watched two fabulous educational films from Professor Child, a company created by three mothers, Rory Kidder, Jenni O’Keefe, and Sharon Richards. The mission of Professor Child is to empower children during difficult life events. As the founders explain, "children have a powerful voice that is relatable, healing and hopeful. Ultimately, we want children to know they are not alone in what they are experiencing and that much can be learned by simply listening to another child’s story" (Professor Child, About Us).

Their documentary-style films feature a variety of children who have all experienced a specific topic. The children share their stories, what has helped, what they wish for, advice for other kids, and more.

As an added bonus, each film comes with a free companion workbook to provide opportunities for further discussion and reflection.

Children and Grief

In this film, children share their stories of losing a loved one. Some kids are dealing with the loss of a parent, while others with a sibling, uncle, or grandparent. Each child's experience and response to death is different, which allows the viewer to see a little of him or herself in the film. This is crucial because many children (and even adults) feel alone as they manage their grief; it is an incredibly private, yet universal, experience.

While not particularly "sad" in an over-indulgent sort of way, still be prepared to have strong emotions come to the surface as you listen to the heartfelt stories. A+

Children and Divorce

This film, while similar in structure, has a different sort of feel. There is not a huge variety of experiences or ethnicities as we see in "Children and Grief," but the stories are still meaningful and quite helpful.

The children in this film describe their personal experiences with divorce, what it means to them, how it has changed their lives, what has helped, and more. I especially enjoyed hearing the advice that the kids gave, which could have a tremendously positive impact on children at various stages of the divorce process. A

Why You Should Purchase Your Own Copies:

As school counselors, we are responsible for helping children cope with a variety of difficult circumstances. It can be a challenge to start a group about grief or divorce. Maybe the group dynamics, personality wise, are off. Maybe you don't have enough students in a particular grade level to start a group and therefore, cannot offer this service. Maybe students who could join the group feel uncomfortable speaking about their situation in front of others and would prefer individual counseling. So, what can you do to help students dealing with divorce or grief know that they are not alone? Well, I think these films are a wonderful resource to fit this particular need.

You could show the film based on the chapters that best address your students' needs or use the chapters for different group sessions as an introduction to the day's lesson.

Also, you can look forward to future films from Professor Child called "Siblings and Autism" and "Children of Military Families."

To purchase one or both of these films ("Children and Grief" and "Children and Divorce"), visit Professor Child online. You can order a DVD or a digital copy. Plus, you can download both companion workbooks for FREE. I strongly recommend these resources for your elementary school counseling practice. Check them out today!

Are you a director, writer, or production company? Do you have an educational film that you would like me to review on my blog? If so, contact me at . I'd be happy to check out your work and spread the word to my readers.

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You're Invited to "The Dinner Party"

01/19/2013

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Bonjour!

For the past few months, I have been rehearsing, and now performing, Neil Simon's The Dinner Party at The Village Players Theatre. The play, which is set in Paris, is about the complexity of relationships. 6 individuals are invited to a dinner party not knowing who the other guests will be, but soon find themselves face-to-face with their ex-spouses. As you might guess, tempers flare and old wounds are reopened.

I find that every show I work on teaches me something that I can bring back to my school counseling program. In this case, I can better understand why relationships of all kinds go wrong. Many of our students come from divorced households and come to us for answers, which we can't always provide. Sometimes, personalities change, people change. Children, unfortunately, have no say in what happens, so they must be flexible and "go with the flow" as their parents make all of the decisions - decisions that affect more than just their adult relationships.

What I love about The Dinner Party is that each couple's marriage failed for a different reason and even when they think they're past the conflict, it bubbles back up the longer they're together. I see this with more than just romantic relationships. Friends hold grudges and make biting remarks, finding the vulnerable spot in their pal's armor. Why do we do this? We protect ourselves ("The best defense is a good offense."), show our disappointment, hint at underlying issues, and more. The sad thing is, we tend to be so involved in our own feelings that we forget the damage we're inflicting on the other person.

My husband and I were discussing The Dinner Party after he had a chance to see it. We began to analyze the flaws of not just each relationship, but each character as well. When we arrived at my character (Mariette Levieux), I found myself coming to her defense. I even started raising my voice - "What?! She was supportive!" Once I realized what I was doing, we both laughed. I was too entrenched in Mariette's point-of-view that I had a hard time admitting her own faults...and she's fictional!

As school counselors, we need to teach our students how to self-reflect and take a breath before jumping into an argument. We have the right to feel how we feel, but just because we're hurting doesn't mean that the other person isn't hurting as well. Relationships, regardless of their nature, are not one-sided. We must understand who we are in order to function well in a friendship or, in this case, marriage.