At my District Leadership Team meeting this evening, we opened with this very entertaining and also VERY enlightening video from TEDx Talks. The presenter, Shawn Achor, discusses how happiness can positively impact our lives, including how successful we feel at work, home, and beyond.

I think this would be a great video to show at a staff meeting or to cut into segments to discuss with older students. I would like to use these concepts to help my 6th graders, in particular, find better ways to deal with stress, disappointment, frustration, and failure. There are some aspects of the talk that may be inappropriate for your intended population, so be sure to view and decide which sections, if any, you'd like to share with those specific individuals.

Just watch. You will be glad you did.

Let me know your ideas in the comments section! :)

Cookie was there during major moments in my life. She was by my side, "hugging me" when I was going through a rough break-up, when my grandparents died, when I went away to college and felt like I was losing all of my friends, when my dad was fighting cancer, when I was sick and needed comfort, when my husband (then boyfriend) was studying abroad for a year...she was the one who never judged. She was the one who stood by everyone in my family and loved us for exactly who we were.

Sadly, I had to say goodbye to my little girl yesterday morning. My dad called, telling me she was in pain and that they needed to take her to the vet. I left school to be there and watched Cookie slip into a peaceful sleep. I went back to work, completely unprepared for how this would affect me. I thought about her face and the last goofy smile she gave me before she was gone. It was difficult to focus on anything else. My overly-dramatic "my life is not complete without a dog" mantra was true; I certainly felt emptier without her.

I often work with students who have lost a family pet and are struggling with their grief. It's hard to explain death to students without crossing the line religiously (if you're in a public school) or without scaring them more. How do we comfort a 5-year-old who misses her cat? How do we answer a 10-year-old's honest questions about where his hamster went after she died? 

I have a number of grief resources here, but I thought it would be helpful to add a few that were specific to pet loss.

Today's guest post is about transitions. While the article may focus on the move from middle school to high school, I feel that these tips easily translate to the elementary to middle school transition as well. Our school year has just begun, but it's never to early to prep our students (especially the anxious ones) for the next step in their education.

Are you concerned about your child’s transition from middle to high school? After all, this is an exciting time for them, and, often, one where they will learn to establish their independence. However, the new beginning can also induce stress and anxiety. To ensure the change is a positive one, here are 5 tips that can help your child transition into high school:

 1) Make it easy for your child to navigate high school: Unlike many middle schools, high schools may require students to walk back and forth between classes throughout the day. Alleviate your child’s anxiety by helping them navigate the school’s layout and learn the new environment. Get your kid’s schedule before school starts and walk through it with him or her before classes start. Additionally, if a school offers freshman orientation programs, encourage your child to attend and explore the building afterward. This will reduce some of the uneasiness he or she will experience when beginning high school.

2) Be enthusiastic: Be your child’s cheerleader and discuss the exciting events and extracurricular activities that high school offers. For example, sports teams, clubs, and other organizations are likely available. Getting involved in such activities will help your child meet new friends, build a resume, and transition into high school easily.

3) Discuss some of the changes: Don’t take your child’s worries lightly during the transition. Instead, help him or her embrace the change by listening openly to what he or she is going through, how he or she feels about being around older kids, the difficulties of homework assignments, and the trouble he or she may have making new friends. Emphasize that there will be people—such teachers, students, and counselors—to help during the adjustment. 

4) Talk about the importance of high school: Introduce the idea of college to your child when they are a high school freshman. This will help your child think ahead about schools he or she would like to attend, as well as consider admittance, SATs, and scholarships. However, don’t go too far and pressure or frighten your child, but simply ensure that he or she understands the importance of high school from the start.

5) Encourage your child to talk to a current high school student: It will probably be easier for a teenager to talk to another, older teenager than to his or her parents. If you know a high school student who you feel would be a great influence on your kid, ask him or her to speak to your child about high school in order to advise him or her about the experience. 

Follow the 5 tips above to help your child transition from middle to high school, and you’ll experience a confident teen ready to succeed in high school and beyond.

Mandy Fricke is a student at Brooklyn College and works for Elearners.com, where she helps manage their online community for masters programs. In her free time she enjoys biking, traveling, and reading in coffee shops.

Ryan Rivera was an anxious child that wished he had an opportunity to socialize better. Now he writes about ways for both parents and children to overcome anxiety at www.calmclinic.com.

Childhood is the time when a person’s social skills start to develop. However, the learning process can be intimidating and especially rough for naturally anxious children. The following activities may be helpful in giving your anxious child the skills they need to socialize effectively. 

Create Games
By creating or playing fun games that can be played one on one or in a group, you are teaching your child tools they can use to interact with others. Other kids can be intimidating, and it can be hard for a shy or anxious child to figure out social rules as an outsider. However, if a child is able to implement familiar rules in a social setting, namely the rules of a fun game, they get a leg up in interacting with other kids on an even playing field. 
 
Fun games you might play with your child and suggest that they ask other children to play with them might include alphabet games (spotting items in the surrounding world alphabetically until you get to Z, i.e., apple, bee, car, dog, and so on), the game “I, No, Yes” (wherein one person is not allowed to say the words “I,” “no” or “yes” and the other is supposed to try and trick them into saying them, and if any of the words is said then the two switch), or story games (one person says the first sentence of a “story,” such as “Once upon a time there was a dog.”  Then another person says a sentence to continue the story, and everyone involved takes turns and tries to make the story as interesting or funny as possible). 

Go to Craft Fairs
Craft fairs are a great place for children to interact with others while also engaging in an activity that takes the focus off of socialization. Children will get to practice social skills such as asking politely (“May I use the scissors, please?”), and learn to share their personality publicly via the safe and creative medium of art. You can also suggest that they watch and see if anybody’s art reflects the things that they themselves like, such as dinosaurs or horses, and encourage them to compliment others’ work. Compliments help to start conversations with others off on the right foot. 

If you can find a craft fair where adults are welcome, too, you can also help by modeling the behavior you want to see in your child by smiling at others, complimenting them and asking conversational questions. You can also compliment your child later on any positive social choices they made during the fair: “Way to walk up to Cameron and ask him for the scissors—you were so confident!” or “Did you notice how Susan smiled back at you when you smiled at her? You’ve got a great smile!”

Choose an Adventure
Give your child a choice of several “adventures.” These might include swimming at the local pool, having a picnic, going to a park, getting ice cream, or almost anything you can think of. As part of these adventures, ask them to invite another kid they know or have met to come along. Be sure to mention that the child’s parents are welcome to come, too. As the child they ask might decline, don’t put too much pressure on your child, but make it clear to them that you both have a “mission” to make some other kid’s life more fun by bringing them on an adventure with you.

One on one activities lower the anxiety involved in socializing, and can make it easier for a child to learn what behavior is most effective in their interactions with others. 

Sticker Prizes
Sticker prizes are ideal for almost any kind of behavioral motivation in children. A good way to introduce sticker prizes for socialization is to make a poster “calendar” with a grid of all the days of the month. Every time you see your child make the effort to approach another child, or introduce themselves, or initiate a conversation by saying “hello!” or “good morning!” with a smile, allow them to add a sticker to the calendar for that day. 
 
If you want, you can make it a matter of trying to get as many stickers on the calendar as possible, or think of additional “prizes” for weeks or months with a sticker on every day, such as buying them their favorite kind of sugary cereal, or having to address them as “Sir” or “Milady” for a day.

Play Pretend
You can make it a game for your child to practice introducing themselves to you as themselves as a cue for you to pretend to be someone fascinating or funny, and have them ask you questions and share information about themselves with this person. Place emphasis on the idea that you never know who you might meet on a given day, and that the chances are good that they might meet someone more interesting than they expected—like a princess, alien, or dragon in disguise—if they just ask enough questions and help you to trust and want to open up to them. 

It may be helpful to tell them things like “I hardly know anything about you!” or “Guess what my favorite animal is” or “Do you always look so SERIOUS?” to make them laugh and change their attitude or encourage them to talk more or ask more questions. 
 
Other Tips
It’s important not to put too much pressure on your child to socialize, but not to allow them to shut themselves away entirely, either. It can be tricky finding a good balance between the two, but as long as you maintain a healthy and positive attitude towards the idea of socialization rather than an attitude that induces further stress, your child will be overcoming their anxiety and meeting new friends before you know it. 

It may be hard to believe, but being busy helps me be a better school counselor...well, to a point. I love going to rehearsal 4-5 nights a week and spending time with like-minded people. I love taking a break from lesson planning, compulsive email monitoring, and I hate to say it...blogging. If I didn't have a hobby like theatre, I would be online far more hours than any human should be. I don't know how to stop working, so why not "work" on something that gives me a break from stress and my endless blogging to-do lists? Also, I don't have children (not by choice), so in many ways, theatre helps me cope with difficult emotions, rather than sitting at home angry and frustrated.

Anyway, on to the show! Impossible Marriage was my first "starring" role in a while, which was exciting. For this production, I had to sing, speak in a dialect, play the harp, "dance," and move like I was pregnant. My character, Floral Whitman, is definitely one of my favorite parts to date. She's feisty and intelligent. It can be hard to find great female roles, so I cherished every moment as Floral.

Impossible Marriage is about a family preparing for a controversial union. Young Pandora is to wed a much older Edvard Lunt, a well-known author who divorced his wife of 23 years to be with Pandora. Floral Whitman, Pandora's older sister, is pregnant and unhappy in her own marriage. In an act of love (and perhaps, jealousy as well), Floral decides to break up her sister's marriage through a series of manipulative interactions. Along the way, she confronts her past and reveals a secret that has haunted her for 9 months. Despite their fears, the characters find a way to conquer the impossible and as a result, become much happier people. The end. Oh, and it's a comedy. ;)

You're probably wondering what I learned this time. Well, since you asked, I'll tell you. This role reminded me why I push myself as hard as I do. Our lives are precious. We have an opportunity to make a difference, to be the best version of ourselves, to look back with no regrets. I want to be remembered as someone who worked hard. I want to think about my life, mistakes and all, fondly. I never want to miss out on something magical because I was too scared to try and perhaps, fail.

Four years ago, I was a much less happy version of myself. I gave up theatre to finish school and then lost all confidence to jump back in. I didn't want to see plays because they made me feel sad - I wanted to be up there with them, but "knew" that I wasn't good enough. One day, I decided I had to audition for something. I didn't feel fulfilled. All I had was work and since my husband was in grad school, I was alone a lot. So, I went for it. During the audition, I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up, my hands were shaking, and I tried desperately to blend into the background in the waiting room. When I got the call that I earned the part I wanted (the smallest one possible!), I couldn't believe it.

When I look back at that time, I both cringe and smile. I was horrible. No, seriously. I was. I didn't remember anything about performing, but because of my supportive director, stage manager, and castmates, I slowly got more comfortable on stage again. Now, I am certainly not an expert, but I can see the growth in my acting abilities. To some extent, it's luck that got me where I am today in theatre - the right part, the right look, the right voice, etc. However, I also was whipped into fighting shape by hours of rehearsals and amazing directors who knew exactly how to challenge me.

As we prepare for this school year, remember that it's okay to start off a little rocky. Just keep working at it, lean on those around you, learn from the "experts," don't be afraid of pushing yourself, and then, enjoy the fruits of your labor. What I love is that I still have many more years to grow as both a school counselor and actor. In fact, the two go quite well together. A school counselor, after all, is often on a stage, engaging his or her audience. An actor must understand emotions, motivations, and interpersonal communication...well, my job lets me work on that all day!

What are your special hobbies? What are you going to find the courage to do this year? Share your thoughts in the comments section, friends. :)

Here are some production photos from Impossible Marriage, courtesy of Juan Rodriguez. Enjoy!

It's the first snow day I've had in 2 years, so I'm excited for the unexpected opportunity to relax...and my definition of relaxing is movies, theatre, and blogging.

I discuss this with my students, because not only do I not want students to feel bullied, I also don't want students to live with regret. I don't want anyone to be the villain in someone else's memory. I, like most of us, will never know the extent to which my kindness and my cruelty (intentional or not) have impacted others. My hope is that we all take a step back and reflect on our actions, good or bad. Then, and only then, can we become better people.

Right now, I'm preparing for The Laramie Project and The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later, my 4th and 5th shows of the season. These plays discuss the aftermath of Matthew Shepard's murder in Laramie, Wyoming. We have a company of 13 actors who are dividing up over 100 roles, which are, in actuality, real people who were interviewed in Laramie.

As I'm sure you may have noticed, I have a slight obsession with Pixar. Their films have depth and substance, creatively expressing the importance of building character. Both their full-length and short films have a magical way of teaching our students why making good choices is in their best interest.

Now, on to the first short film! "Partly Cloudy," as you can see in the trailer below, is about a world where clouds create little bundles of joy (babies, puppies, kittens, and other adorable creatures) for storks to deliver to loving homes. However, within this sugary sweet world lives a gloomier cloud who likes to create more unique and, at times, unappreciated gifts, such as sharks, crocodiles, and porcupines. This cloud's poor stork is visibly exhausted and falling apart at the seams. One day, the storm cloud's stork friend flies to a neighboring cloud - when old gloomy sees this, his thundering anger builds and his rain tears fall. But, have no fear! The weakened stork returns with a bundle of his own: a helmet and shoulder pads to help make the journeys easier.

So, how could a school counselor use this story? I think there are two excellent ways.
1. The storm cloud has a hard time expressing his feelings, so this movie could spark discussion on how to positively manage strong emotions.
2. Sometimes students who are outside the mainstream are confused why the general population doesn't reach out to be their friend. I think "Partly Cloudy" could help these students reflect on the importance of the quality of their friends vs. the quantity. Being unique is great, but it can also make it more challenging to find great friend matches. It's hard being friends with someone you don't have anything in common with, so naturally, if you think and act outside the box, then you'll have fewer great friends at your disposal. Therefore, you need a plan for how to seek out the right peers.