Category: Individual Counseling

Updates

02/06/2014

For the past few weeks, I've been adding content to my website. In case you've missed the new additions, here's a list of all of the new material. Just click on the numbers to visit each page.

6th Grade Classroom Lessons

Staff Appreciation Ideas

Website of the Month (Interview with Jeff Ream)

Individual Counseling (Reorganization of Page)

Add Comment

Book Review: Spoonful of Sweetness

01/19/2014

9 Comments

Elementary School Counseling.org is another stop on the Spoonful of Sweetness book tour! I was lucky enough to get an early viewing of this adorable book and speak with the author, Maria Dismondy, about it.

Spoonful of Sweetness is a book designed for children ages Birth-3 years. As Maria explains, "It is my effort to incorporate early intervention, encouraging parents to teach simple character traits in the book from the very start of their child's life. It is my hope that if we can start young, children will be equip with important social and friendship skills to use when they enter school."

I believe this book does just that.

As school counselors, we work with families of our school-age students, but often, there are younger siblings who tag along at problem-solving meetings, conferences, and school events. Parents see us a resource, so it makes sense to have other, non elementary-specific ideas in our back pockets.

This book is a wonderful reading suggestion for a family struggling with challenging behaviors. If they recognize the issues their older child is having in school, they may be panicking, hoping to prevent similar problems for their younger children.

Other Ideas for Elementary School Counselors:

*Read the book with kindergarten-1st Grade students in a small group or classroom setting. Explain that babies learn important manners when they are younger, just like we are learning now. Then, brainstorm what "big kids" need to practice, writing their ideas on the board. Finally, students get to pick their favorite from the list and make their own book page. This way, the class has their own, age-appropriate version of Spoonful of Sweetness for their class library.

*In an individual, small group, or classroom setting, reflect with older students (5th-6th) about how they've changed since kindergarten. What is their classroom environment like now compared to then? Do they act differently? Reflect on the manners they see from various age groups at school and the role that the oldest students play. Use Spoonful of Sweetness as an extra resource to remember and discuss early childhood. Finally, have students create posters in small groups (or individually) that highlight the manners they feel are important for their age group and/or school as a whole.

How Would You Use Spoonful of Sweetness?

Write your idea(s) in the comment section of this post! You will be entered to win a free, autographed copy of Spoonful of Sweetness. Deadline: January 31, 2014.

9 Comments

I Remember

01/14/2014

4 Comments

When I was younger, I begged my parents for a pet. "My life is not complete without a dog," I'd say...over and OVER again. I went to my local library and researched dogs - how to train them, how to determine if a potential dog is right for you, etc. My parents still did not seem convinced.

Exactly 1 week after my 14th birthday, we received a phone call from my aunt who told us that her dog, to her surprise, just had puppies. Needless to say, my aunt's frustration combined with my research-based whining weakened my parents' defenses long enough for them to say, "Okay, fine."

Before I knew it, we were bringing our darling Cookie home.

Cookie was there during major moments in my life. She was by my side, "hugging me" when I was going through a rough break-up, when my grandparents died, when I went away to college and felt like I was losing all of my friends, when my dad was fighting cancer, when I was sick and needed comfort, when my husband (then boyfriend) was studying abroad for a year...she was the one who never judged. She was the one who stood by everyone in my family and loved us for exactly who we were.

Sadly, I had to say goodbye to my little girl yesterday morning. My dad called, telling me she was in pain and that they needed to take her to the vet. I left school to be there and watched Cookie slip into a peaceful sleep. I went back to work, completely unprepared for how this would affect me. I thought about her face and the last goofy smile she gave me before she was gone. It was difficult to focus on anything else. My overly-dramatic "my life is not complete without a dog" mantra was true; I certainly felt emptier without her.

I often work with students who have lost a family pet and are struggling with their grief. It's hard to explain death to students without crossing the line religiously (if you're in a public school) or without scaring them more. How do we comfort a 5-year-old who misses her cat? How do we answer a 10-year-old's honest questions about where his hamster went after she died?

I have a number of grief resources here, but I thought it would be helpful to add a few that were specific to pet loss.

I Remember is about a little boy whose dog became sick and died. The boy dealt with grief. He could not stop crying and no longer enjoyed the activities that used to make him happy. Over time, the pain subsided and the boy was able to think about the happy memories with his dog and enjoy life again.

Houdini Was is a true story (written and illustrated by a 2nd Grade class) about a class pet named Houdini. The book was a way for the students to express their grief, but in a positive, productive way. In the book, the students say that they are choosing to be happy because Houdini was special to them and they want to remember all of the great things about her, not just the sadness they feel right now.

Dog Heaven, also available in Cat Heaven, is a way to comfort pet owners of any age. Due to public school policies, this should be used with discretion. Dog Heaven may be a great resource to send home so an entire family can read it together. It could also be a jumping off point for a student to create his/her own book to imagine what a pet is doing in heaven.

Another helpful grief activity is having a student create a memory book. You can purchase a set of softcover books or hardcover books that students can draw their memories in. Also, I will sometimes call parents and ask permission for extra photographs that the student can add, making the final product even more personal and comforting.

I typically work on these books in individual school counseling sessions over the course of a few months. Each session, we work on a couple pages of memories. This can also be done effectively in a small group.

Finally, if you have access to pictures (and even video), you can help your student create a slideshow of the person or animal who died. Then, the student can think of the song that represents that person or animal’s life the best and add that to the video. The final product is a beautiful tribute to their loved one.

I created the video on the right to remember Cookie. I can honestly say that it helped me cope with my grief. Maybe it would help your students too. :)

4 Comments

Moving Forward

07/30/2013

4 Comments

You may have heard about a captivating poster series created by graphic designer, Khoa Ho, that depicts the origins of various superheroes. What I love about these thought-provoking posters is that they are simple, yet powerful. Children could look at these images and understand the general message. However, school counselor friends, I think we could go beyond that.

As described on Khoa Ho's website, "everyone has a memory, a past. It's the driving force behind all of our actions for our present, our future." That statement got my school counselor wheels turning - isn't that what we teach our students?! Our experiences shape our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and understanding that connection can help unlock the secret to making better choices. These posters reinforce that "despite the trials of our past, what we choose to do moving forward is much more important to us and the world we share."

So, you could use the superhero images to introduce a variety of topics: identifying and expressing feelings, positive school behaviors, making and keeping friends, self-esteem, etc. I often use superheroes (and other pop culture references) to address the ASCA standards. Kids love it and more importantly, remember it.

One activity could be a self-portrait, like the example on the right. Start by having students draw a basic outline of themselves in pencil. This is who they are now, which can be represented in a specific pose. Then, have students reflect on what caused that change. How did they become the person they are today? That image is put inside their bigger drawing. The example shows a confident, independent person who is not afraid to be noticed, which came from being singled out and teased. I would use this activity with my older students (4th - 6th).

"It's not who you are underneath. It's what you do that defines you." - Batman Begins

4 Comments

Film Review: Professor Child

06/21/2013

2 Comments

Last night, I watched two fabulous educational films from Professor Child, a company created by three mothers, Rory Kidder, Jenni O’Keefe, and Sharon Richards. The mission of Professor Child is to empower children during difficult life events. As the founders explain, "children have a powerful voice that is relatable, healing and hopeful. Ultimately, we want children to know they are not alone in what they are experiencing and that much can be learned by simply listening to another child’s story" (Professor Child, About Us).

Their documentary-style films feature a variety of children who have all experienced a specific topic. The children share their stories, what has helped, what they wish for, advice for other kids, and more.

As an added bonus, each film comes with a free companion workbook to provide opportunities for further discussion and reflection.

Children and Grief

In this film, children share their stories of losing a loved one. Some kids are dealing with the loss of a parent, while others with a sibling, uncle, or grandparent. Each child's experience and response to death is different, which allows the viewer to see a little of him or herself in the film. This is crucial because many children (and even adults) feel alone as they manage their grief; it is an incredibly private, yet universal, experience.

While not particularly "sad" in an over-indulgent sort of way, still be prepared to have strong emotions come to the surface as you listen to the heartfelt stories. A+

Children and Divorce

This film, while similar in structure, has a different sort of feel. There is not a huge variety of experiences or ethnicities as we see in "Children and Grief," but the stories are still meaningful and quite helpful.

The children in this film describe their personal experiences with divorce, what it means to them, how it has changed their lives, what has helped, and more. I especially enjoyed hearing the advice that the kids gave, which could have a tremendously positive impact on children at various stages of the divorce process. A

Why You Should Purchase Your Own Copies:

As school counselors, we are responsible for helping children cope with a variety of difficult circumstances. It can be a challenge to start a group about grief or divorce. Maybe the group dynamics, personality wise, are off. Maybe you don't have enough students in a particular grade level to start a group and therefore, cannot offer this service. Maybe students who could join the group feel uncomfortable speaking about their situation in front of others and would prefer individual counseling. So, what can you do to help students dealing with divorce or grief know that they are not alone? Well, I think these films are a wonderful resource to fit this particular need.

You could show the film based on the chapters that best address your students' needs or use the chapters for different group sessions as an introduction to the day's lesson.

Also, you can look forward to future films from Professor Child called "Siblings and Autism" and "Children of Military Families."

To purchase one or both of these films ("Children and Grief" and "Children and Divorce"), visit Professor Child online. You can order a DVD or a digital copy. Plus, you can download both companion workbooks for FREE. I strongly recommend these resources for your elementary school counseling practice. Check them out today!

Are you a director, writer, or production company? Do you have an educational film that you would like me to review on my blog? If so, contact me at . I'd be happy to check out your work and spread the word to my readers.

2 Comments

Video Podcast: "A Day in the Life of a School Counselor"

01/21/2013

15 Comments

I've received a lot of emails from my readers, asking me to describe how I spend my time and why I love my job.

Instead of writing a long post about this topic, I decided to make a VERY LONG (nearly 30 minute) podcast, which you'll find on the left.

In this video, I explain how I organize my schedule. I also reveal the pros and cons of the school counseling profession, as I see them. If you're able to watch the whole video, you'll hear about one of my recent success stories that may help you in your own school counseling journey.

Enjoy!

15 Comments

Pixar Week: One Man Band

01/10/2013

0 Comments

How often do students come to you with friendship problems? My guess would be VERY often. A common issue I see, especially as students get older, is the friendship triangle, where someone is always left out. In many cases, one student feels pulled between two friends he/she likes and doesn't want to choose which one to play with.

One Man Band offers a comical depiction of that "stuck in the middle" feeling. This short film would work as a perfect discussion starter.

For an additional friendship triangle activity, check out my Dear Tim page. My poor puppet friend is having the same problem. :(

Add Comment

Pixar Week: La Luna

01/09/2013

3 Comments

Show your students how special and unique they are by writing notes on these beautiful Pixar notecards! Vol. 2 was also just released.

Day 4!

La Luna is a beautiful story about a young boy learning "the family business." Both his father and grandfather try to push their views, but the boy learns to find his own way.

This short film could help students reflect on the pressure they feel from others (friends, family, peers, strangers) to act a certain way.

To facilitate the discussion, try using the workpage below. It will you give a revealing look into the minds of your students.

This came from a colleague - I'm unsure of the original source.

PDF
File Size:	79 kb
File Type:	pdf

Download File

3 Comments

Subtext

12/26/2012

0 Comments

In my day-to-day school counseling world, I spend a lot of time reading between the lines. I am constantly scanning my surroundings to informally check-in with hundreds of students and dozens of staff members. In the hallway, we exchange our "Hi, how are you?" pleasantries, but the responses are typically riddled with hidden messages.

A few years ago, I had one clever student explain to me that he always responds with "good" because it's not bad enough or special enough to warrant further conversation. When you want to disappear, bland vocabulary can be your best friend. When you need help, but are afraid to ask, "fine" can be all that squeaks out.

A friend of mine recently posted this thought-provoking video on Facebook. It deals with the underlying causes of bullying, particularly why individuals feel the need to lash out and hurt others.

I must warn you that this video contains some harsh language and mature themes. I still, however, felt it was important to share because school counselors work with both sides of bullying and must find a way to pull back the layers of lies, hurt, embarrassment, shame, and fear to get to the truth. Only then can there be hope of long-term solutions.

With that, I'll leave you to have a GREAT (not good) day!

Add Comment

When Skies Are Gray

12/06/2012

2 Comments

Do you have students who are chronically negative? Typically, these children have trouble making and keeping friends, often feeling rejected by their peers and the world at large. This is a "chicken or the egg" situation: Which came first, the rejection or the negativity?

I think it's important to empathize with students who feel excluded, but we still must address what students CAN control. While they cannot control their environment, they can certainly control how they respond to it. We, of course, must be mindful of mental health diagnoses and trauma that may contribute to a student's negativity. Therefore, some of my ideas may not apply to those specific situations.

A few weeks ago, I saw this video (left) on Saturday Night Live. It's about a man dealing with his complicated personal life while starting a new job as a mouse mascot.

This is for comedic purposes, but still shows how negativity and sadness can affect how a person responds to his/her environment. In the movie, whenever someone neglects to wave back, even if it was unintentionally dismissive, the man adds more proof to his negativity bank - "See, you were right. Everyone DOES hate you."

Additionally, this SNL video shows how uncomfortable and frustrating sadness and chronic negativity can be for other people.

Children (and, let's face it, many adults) often have little patience for negativity. When students' interventions, such as asking him/her to play or trying to rationalize why something "isn't so bad," do not work, it's easier for them to give up and blame the negative peer for not trying hard enough.

So, what do you do? I always give my students the first few minutes of a session to vent. Then, we move on to the positives so that I don't feed into the negativity and make it worse. For kiddos who struggle with identifying happy thoughts, I create a sticker chart to track all of the positives they can share with me. Each session, they have to name 3 good things in their life. Then, if they are able to complete the task, they add a sticker to the chart. We set a goal for the number of stickers we want to earn and once they reach their goal, they get to pick a prize from my prize box.

After a few weeks of tracking positive thoughts, I definitely notice a difference in my students. They come up to me to share good news and smile more. We also reflect on how their positive attitude feels, how it impacts their school day, and how others students respond to them.

In a world of uncertainty, we have to focus on what we can control. In the words of Albus Dumbledore, "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light."

Let's help our students flip the switch and see the world through different eyes.

2 Comments

<< Previous

Updates

Book Review: Spoonful of Sweetness

Other Ideas for Elementary School Counselors:

How Would You Use Spoonful of Sweetness?

I Remember

Moving Forward

Film Review: Professor Child

Children and Grief

Children and Divorce

Why You Should Purchase Your Own Copies:

Video Podcast: "A Day in the Life of a School Counselor"

Pixar Week: One Man Band

Pixar Week: La Luna

Subtext

When Skies Are Gray

Author

Archives

Categories