The past few months have been the busiest I've ever had. I just bought a house (which came with its own lovely complications and workload), closed a play (Did I mention that I had to perform with a dialect, learn fight choreography, and be on stage a LOT?), moved in with my parents while construction took place at my house (yeah, my apartment was re-rented...), spent every free afternoon and evening taking down wallpaper (NEVER use wallpaper), supervised and continuing to supervise my very first intern (she's awesome!), prepped for 2 presentations (I must have done that in my sleep...well, it sure felt like I was asleep), and faced a pretty big personal milestone (later, friends). Somewhere in there I fit in my regular job and spending time with friends and family.

So, needless to say, something had to give. Unfortunately for my readers, that meant blogging. I thought about it every single day, but just didn't have the time or the energy to do it.

Here's the good news: I am moving, officially, into my home this Saturday. My play is over. I have SO much more free time than I've had for the past 1 1/2 years, so that means I can finally sit in my office (EEEEE! So excited!) and work on uploading the hundreds of ideas and materials that I've accumulated over the years.

Starting Monday, be prepared to wish that I was absent from the blog world...okay, maybe I won't be THAT active, but it will definitely be better.

Thanks for understanding! :)

My life has been more hectic than usual, which is certainly saying something. I spent my summer taking a class, volunteering at Camp Quality, attending the ASCA conference,  performing in a short film, rehearsing a new play, moving my office to a new location in my building, and searching for my first home. In other words, I didn't allow myself much time to relax.

The past few weeks have felt even more jam-packed. First of all, buying a house is extremely difficult, especially when every experience in this arena has thrown more obstacles my way than I could have imagined or prepared for. In the middle of the negotiation process, my apartment was re-rented, so I had to be out within a few days...yes, at the start of the school year. The extra special bonus was finding time to pack when my husband was starting a new job 1 hour away and while I had rehearsals and cross country practices. I did this to myself, but it didn't make it any less stressful. This is where you're supposed to tell me: "I told you so!"

Anyway, I know things will get easier soon. Once we're moved in, my show is over, and cross country season ends, things will slow down. Despite my desire to be busy, I think I need this time to crash. Today, for example, is my first day with NOTHING extra to do in over 3 weeks. Yep, 3 weeks. That's not healthy.

It may be hard to believe, but being busy helps me be a better school counselor...well, to a point. I love going to rehearsal 4-5 nights a week and spending time with like-minded people. I love taking a break from lesson planning, compulsive email monitoring, and I hate to say it...blogging. If I didn't have a hobby like theatre, I would be online far more hours than any human should be. I don't know how to stop working, so why not "work" on something that gives me a break from stress and my endless blogging to-do lists? Also, I don't have children (not by choice), so in many ways, theatre helps me cope with difficult emotions, rather than sitting at home angry and frustrated.

Anyway, on to the show! Impossible Marriage was my first "starring" role in a while, which was exciting. For this production, I had to sing, speak in a dialect, play the harp, "dance," and move like I was pregnant. My character, Floral Whitman, is definitely one of my favorite parts to date. She's feisty and intelligent. It can be hard to find great female roles, so I cherished every moment as Floral.

Impossible Marriage is about a family preparing for a controversial union. Young Pandora is to wed a much older Edvard Lunt, a well-known author who divorced his wife of 23 years to be with Pandora. Floral Whitman, Pandora's older sister, is pregnant and unhappy in her own marriage. In an act of love (and perhaps, jealousy as well), Floral decides to break up her sister's marriage through a series of manipulative interactions. Along the way, she confronts her past and reveals a secret that has haunted her for 9 months. Despite their fears, the characters find a way to conquer the impossible and as a result, become much happier people. The end. Oh, and it's a comedy. ;)

You're probably wondering what I learned this time. Well, since you asked, I'll tell you. This role reminded me why I push myself as hard as I do. Our lives are precious. We have an opportunity to make a difference, to be the best version of ourselves, to look back with no regrets. I want to be remembered as someone who worked hard. I want to think about my life, mistakes and all, fondly. I never want to miss out on something magical because I was too scared to try and perhaps, fail.

Four years ago, I was a much less happy version of myself. I gave up theatre to finish school and then lost all confidence to jump back in. I didn't want to see plays because they made me feel sad - I wanted to be up there with them, but "knew" that I wasn't good enough. One day, I decided I had to audition for something. I didn't feel fulfilled. All I had was work and since my husband was in grad school, I was alone a lot. So, I went for it. During the audition, I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up, my hands were shaking, and I tried desperately to blend into the background in the waiting room. When I got the call that I earned the part I wanted (the smallest one possible!), I couldn't believe it.

When I look back at that time, I both cringe and smile. I was horrible. No, seriously. I was. I didn't remember anything about performing, but because of my supportive director, stage manager, and castmates, I slowly got more comfortable on stage again. Now, I am certainly not an expert, but I can see the growth in my acting abilities. To some extent, it's luck that got me where I am today in theatre - the right part, the right look, the right voice, etc. However, I also was whipped into fighting shape by hours of rehearsals and amazing directors who knew exactly how to challenge me.

As we prepare for this school year, remember that it's okay to start off a little rocky. Just keep working at it, lean on those around you, learn from the "experts," don't be afraid of pushing yourself, and then, enjoy the fruits of your labor. What I love is that I still have many more years to grow as both a school counselor and actor. In fact, the two go quite well together. A school counselor, after all, is often on a stage, engaging his or her audience. An actor must understand emotions, motivations, and interpersonal communication...well, my job lets me work on that all day!

What are your special hobbies? What are you going to find the courage to do this year? Share your thoughts in the comments section, friends. :)

Here are some production photos from Impossible Marriage, courtesy of Juan Rodriguez. Enjoy!

I don't know about you, but in my school counseling program, we had to analyze films that had counseling scenes in them and reflect on the techniques and level of success that the counselor had with his or her client. It's easy to critique someone else's performance than create your own. If I watched 50/50 (above) during grad school, I probably would have laughed at how Anna Kendrick's character handled her first counseling session. She looks uncomfortable and follows the basic script we all learn when we start our counseling programs. In essence, it's fake.

However, I watched 50/50 post grade school, so my reaction was a little different. In many ways, I saw myself in Kendrick's character. I remember my first school counseling session, trying to figure out what to do and say. This feels awkward, should I say something? They are being really quiet, what should I do? How long should I let them talk before I wrap things up and send them back to class? It's funny how quickly things change.

Now, I feel like I can handle most of what comes my way. I am learning the fine art of listening and guiding, being supportive and firm. I know which students just need to vent and which need more advice. I know which teachers need time to talk about their difficult students and which ones need some space. I am certainly not perfect, but each day I am becoming a better version of Marissa 1.0, the newbie who had no idea what she was getting herself into.

I say this not to scare you, but in fact, to help you feel less alone. It's okay to be scared out of your mind sometimes. It's okay to not know all of the answers. I am only going into my 5th year of school counseling, but I can say each year is better than the last. You grow more than you ever could have imagined and soon become a strong, self-sufficient machine, in the best of ways.

In the spirit of this type of self-reflection, I thought I'd share a video (above). It does a wonderful job explaining what the "real world" feels like. No one can prepare you for what it's really like to be on your own as a school counselor, including how to deal with outside stressors while still performing your many school counseling duties.

For those of you who have yet to join the profession, please don't think I mean to scare you away from, in my opinion, one of the best jobs there is. I am, however, trying to give you the heads-up that may prevent you leaving the field once you're in it. We often have an idealistic view of the helping professions, thinking we can save the world. Well, I still am quite the optimist, but I now know that saving the world shouldn't be my barometer for success. You have to accept the failures to appreciate the little victories. You have to go to work each day knowing that things probably won't go as planned, that a student may make a bad choice, that a co-worker may be struggling and take it out on you, that a parent may believe their child's story over their teacher's and call you to express their anger.

It's easy to let these unexpected events drag you down. Why is this happening to me?

Well, those who are frustrating you may be saying the same thing to themselves. When we're stuck in traffic, we are angry at those in front of us for not moving quickly enough, almost as if we're not part of the problem - "they" are. If we take a step back, we might realize that those cars behind us are probably feeling the same way...about US.

So, watch the video. Remind yourself why you want to be a school counselor. Recognize that kids and adults who act out are probably responding to difficult circumstances. Take a moment to appreciate your success stories, forgive the missteps, and remember..."This is Water."

The past few weeks have been filled with meetings, planned and unplanned counseling sessions, programs, lessons, crisis response, and paperwork. I could REALLY relate to the "Extreme School Counseling" post at School Counseling by Heart. Oh, and I'm in another play, a previous play was invited to a regional community theatre competition (cue extra rehearsals), and I have been helping out with Camp Quality Ohio's recruitment efforts. Literally every minute of my life has been scheduled, leaving very little time and energy for blogging.

While my body and mind may be screaming, "What are you doing?!", my heart is certainly appreciating and cherishing all of the positive experiences I've been given.

I think it's important to create a life outside of school counseling. I know if I let myself, I would submit to every irrational thought and urge. I would spend too many hours working and critiquing and "perfecting," since I can't officially "close the book" on my day - there's always more to do. While my extracurricular activities may seem exhausting, they have truly saved me from myself. I have new friends and new ways to challenge my mind. When I'm having a horrible work day, I can recover through other creative outlets. I feel like I'm expanding my impact on the world, leaving me feeling hopeful and rejuvenated - I have more opportunities to feel like I'm a meaningful part of history, however small that impact may be. I cannot stress that enough. It's important to feel like we have a purpose. Otherwise, we fall into a dark pit, which is certainly not where I'd like to be.

Anyway, just wanted to give you an update on my life. I hope to post more about my current show, Impossible Marriage, soon. Oh, and I guess I could post school counseling resources too! ;)

My fellow school counselors may be wondering why I have dedicated so much of my personal time to theatre and perhaps, how I can manage to fit it in at all. Well, my best answer is that theatre helps me be a better person. I can release the stress of my day through my characters, connect with my local community, and immerse myself in a variety of situations, allowing me to better empathize with others.

I love school counseling and most definitely feel fulfilled by my career. However, I truly believe that we must have an additional outlet for our creativity; otherwise, we may be sucked into a black hole of self-doubt, stress, and worry. We need a break from any passion so we can come back to it with a fresh perspective and rejuvenated spirit.

So, when it came time for me to live out this dream, I felt nervous, but prepared. However, I didn't realize how emotionally challenging and intellectually demanding it would be to perform in not just one, but two Laramie shows in the same packed weekend. My nine characters were so different: some blamed Matthew, some used their anger to advocate for others, some didn't know what to think. Looking back, I'm so proud that I was able to remember my lines, my props, and all of the little details that kept the story afloat. Our company of 13 actors worked together to create a production we could be proud of.

Here are some production photos from The Laramie Project and The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later, courtesy of Todd Michaels. Enjoy!

It's the first snow day I've had in 2 years, so I'm excited for the unexpected opportunity to relax...and my definition of relaxing is movies, theatre, and blogging.

I discuss this with my students, because not only do I not want students to feel bullied, I also don't want students to live with regret. I don't want anyone to be the villain in someone else's memory. I, like most of us, will never know the extent to which my kindness and my cruelty (intentional or not) have impacted others. My hope is that we all take a step back and reflect on our actions, good or bad. Then, and only then, can we become better people.

Right now, I'm preparing for The Laramie Project and The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later, my 4th and 5th shows of the season. These plays discuss the aftermath of Matthew Shepard's murder in Laramie, Wyoming. We have a company of 13 actors who are dividing up over 100 roles, which are, in actuality, real people who were interviewed in Laramie.