As you may know, I am currently expecting a baby in May. When I used to imagine pregnancy as this hypothetical, may-never-happen scenario, I thought that it would be a magical, "I'm at peace" type of experience. I thought about what my growing stomach would represent - life, a new beginning, love. I thought about "the glow" that you would radiate, like your own personal sunshine.

Well, that's not exactly what I've experienced.

You know the comments: Are you sure you aren't having twins? Whoa, you've really gotten big! That baby is going to be huge! You look even bigger today than you did yesterday. Are you sure you're going to make it?

I know they mean well, so I smile and give one of my prepared "I know" responses. But inside? I feel defeated. I feel judged. I feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel that every minute of every day is an opportunity for someone to label my body. There are mornings when I get dressed and I look in the mirror feeling really good about myself...then I go out in public, receive the verdict on my personal appearance, and instantly get put back in my place. A place that I haven't been in a long time. I DO have to note that I have MANY loving, encouraging, and accepting individuals in my life who help pull me back up and dust off my insecurities. And, like I said earlier, I don't think the negative comments are meant to be negative. It's like a well-meaning gift wrapped in sandpaper. It stings to open it, but it's not malicious.

For the majority of my life, I've been content with my body. It was able to move easily, fit into the clothes I wanted to wear, and had a sort of "invisibility cloak" that exempted me (for the most part) from public scrutiny. Now, I have to adjust to a completely different set of life experiences and expectations for what my day is going to look like. I find myself wanting to stay inside, avoiding the awkward encounters.

Recently, I REALLY got to thinking. What would I tell a student who felt judged for his or her appearance? I'd advise them to tell people how they felt. Have I done that? No, I haven't. My instinct was to protect the jury from embarrassment or guilt by being "nice." I also felt that their judgment of my body had to be right, so it became my inner monologue. I started to worry so much about hearing those words that when they happened, it confirmed the ever-booming voice in my head: "See, there IS something wrong with you."

Check out these sections of my website:
Classroom-Based Counseling
Small Group Counseling
Individual Counseling

At my District Leadership Team meeting this evening, we opened with this very entertaining and also VERY enlightening video from TEDx Talks. The presenter, Shawn Achor, discusses how happiness can positively impact our lives, including how successful we feel at work, home, and beyond.

I think this would be a great video to show at a staff meeting or to cut into segments to discuss with older students. I would like to use these concepts to help my 6th graders, in particular, find better ways to deal with stress, disappointment, frustration, and failure. There are some aspects of the talk that may be inappropriate for your intended population, so be sure to view and decide which sections, if any, you'd like to share with those specific individuals.

Just watch. You will be glad you did.

Let me know your ideas in the comments section! :)

I've been meaning to write this post for a while now, but haven't been able to find the words to adequately express my thoughts on the subject. Gifted Education is one of those topics that causes my head and heart to merge, creating a swirl of ideas, memories, thoughts, and feelings. Flashes of my old classrooms and peers pour into my mind, pushing all rationality to the bottom, almost as if I'm drowning in the past.

Okay, this is a little dramatic, but hey, I'm a little dramatic.

The rest of this post is just a snapshot of my thoughts on the subject of Gifted Education and may not be particularly useful, but I still wanted to put it out there.

When I was in 3rd grade, I remember being isolated from the rest of my class so I could work on different assignments. In 4th grade, I began our district's Gifted Education program (G.A.T.E.). I was taken out of my classroom 2 days a week to practice critical thinking skills and spend time with other kids who qualified. I don't remember having any of this explained to me. It just became a part of my school life.

I loved my G.A.T.E. classes and wanted to share what I was learning with my friends...it turns out that they did not want to know. In fact, my closest friends made fun of me, hid from me at recess, and I remember crying almost every day at school. I started to feel like standing out was a bad thing because it made other people uncomfortable - it made you lose friends, a currency worth more than gold in the school world. I began to slack off by rushing through my homework, quitting my favorite clubs or groups if my friends didn't make the cut, and pretending like I knew less than I did. By 8th grade, I decided to quit G.A.T.E. and take other lower level classes instead. Since my junior high grades were good (straight A's), no one said anything to me. No one asked why I was doing what I was doing. All I wanted was to fight my urge to push myself and stand out, but felt forced into a little box.   

It took me years to overcome the little voice in my head saying, "Don't make other people uncomfortable." I wish I was able to have the confidence to be my authentic self back in elementary school when the pressure to conform was strongest. I wish someone would have noticed that my tears and my subtle withdrawal was more than just me being a sensitive kid. It was me feeling like I could never fit in no matter what group I was in. I felt like I wasn't smart enough for the G.A.T.E. kids and wasn't cool enough for the rest of my class. I was a misfit, just finding ways to cover up who I really was with different clothes, different hobbies, and a different personality.

School struggles of any kind don't just go away. In fact, as I re-read this post I can't help but want to delete what I've written out of fear of being misunderstood. Feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing are villains that are difficult to overcome without some help, but that's why there are school counselors, right?!

As school counselors, we can help our gifted students (a population typically pushed to the side because they are "easier") find the confidence they need to achieve great things. We can teach them social skills, organization, goal-setting, and stress management. We can be their safe place to vent. We can remind them that even if they feel alone now, it gets better. The world is a big place with big possibilities. They will find lasting friendships with those who will appreciate and challenge them. We can remind them to never give up.

I hope my story feels more educational than self-indulgent. Of course, it DOES feel good to express the feelings I bottled up for so long, so maybe it was a little self-indulgent. I just want school counselors to remember this population of students because it's easy to leave them behind.

Thanks for listening. :)

Davidson Institute for Talent Development www.davidsongifted.org
Jim Delisle www.creativelearningconsultants.com/jimdelisle.html
Top Blogs http://giftedchallenges.blogspot.com/2013/08/top-blogs-about-gifted-children-gifted.html

It's the first snow day I've had in 2 years, so I'm excited for the unexpected opportunity to relax...and my definition of relaxing is movies, theatre, and blogging.

I discuss this with my students, because not only do I not want students to feel bullied, I also don't want students to live with regret. I don't want anyone to be the villain in someone else's memory. I, like most of us, will never know the extent to which my kindness and my cruelty (intentional or not) have impacted others. My hope is that we all take a step back and reflect on our actions, good or bad. Then, and only then, can we become better people.

Right now, I'm preparing for The Laramie Project and The Laramie Project: 10 Years Later, my 4th and 5th shows of the season. These plays discuss the aftermath of Matthew Shepard's murder in Laramie, Wyoming. We have a company of 13 actors who are dividing up over 100 roles, which are, in actuality, real people who were interviewed in Laramie.

SoulPancake was founded in 2008 by actor Rainn Wilson and his friends, Joshua Homnick and Devon Gundry. As described on their website, "SoulPancake sprang out of their desire to create a space where people from all walks of life could discuss and question what it means to be human - a place to wrestle with the spiritual, philosophical, and creative journey that is life" (FAQ). SoulPancake is not just video - there are also print, web, and live event formats.

One of my favorite aspects of the site is the "activities" section. There are various writing or multimedia prompts (i.e. "List the one thing that you'll never give in to.") that visitors can participate in. These activities are a wonderful springboard for school counseling services; you could easily modify an existing prompt to meet your specific needs. If you trust their little hands, you could even provide your students (in individual or small group sessions, ideally) with a camera so they can respond to challenging questions in a different way.

As for the additional videos for school counselors, I found plenty of clips to spice up a lesson or two. I added some of these SoulPancake videos to my YouTube channel - organized by topic, of course! ;)

You can view my "Brighten Your Day" SoulPancake playlist in its entirety here. You won't be sorry! I promise! These videos are meant to energize, inspire, and ease the burdens we carry. Lighten the load. Enjoy!

Here are two of my favorites: