A few weeks ago, I was listening to a This American Life episode called "Bad Baby," which discussed some cases of extreme behaviors in children, the prognosis for overcoming those behaviors, and why the "badness" started in the first place.

I only have my 5 years of school counseling experience to draw on, but I've seen many students exhibit intense behaviors (i.e. biting, hitting, running, swearing, threatening, etc.). I have some interventions in my back pocket and some that I make up on the fly out of necessity, but it can be difficult to discern what those students truly need. We observe, experiment with behavior plans, track and analyze data, attempt to determine the function of certain behaviors...but sometimes, our efforts just don't work. It can be frustrating for a school building to work so hard for seemingly no results. Parents feel helpless because they are often dealing with the same behaviors (perhaps even more intense versions of them) at home. Other students may be scared. So...how can we help a student in crisis? I wish the answer was as simple as finding the last remaining puzzle piece and putting it into place.

Unfortunately, I offer no answers in this post, just questions. I encourage you to listen to this episode - SERIOUSLY, you won't regret it.

Post your thoughts about extreme student behaviors in the comment section. Have great tips? Please post those too! :)

As you may know, I am currently expecting a baby in May. When I used to imagine pregnancy as this hypothetical, may-never-happen scenario, I thought that it would be a magical, "I'm at peace" type of experience. I thought about what my growing stomach would represent - life, a new beginning, love. I thought about "the glow" that you would radiate, like your own personal sunshine.

Well, that's not exactly what I've experienced.

You know the comments: Are you sure you aren't having twins? Whoa, you've really gotten big! That baby is going to be huge! You look even bigger today than you did yesterday. Are you sure you're going to make it?

I know they mean well, so I smile and give one of my prepared "I know" responses. But inside? I feel defeated. I feel judged. I feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel that every minute of every day is an opportunity for someone to label my body. There are mornings when I get dressed and I look in the mirror feeling really good about myself...then I go out in public, receive the verdict on my personal appearance, and instantly get put back in my place. A place that I haven't been in a long time. I DO have to note that I have MANY loving, encouraging, and accepting individuals in my life who help pull me back up and dust off my insecurities. And, like I said earlier, I don't think the negative comments are meant to be negative. It's like a well-meaning gift wrapped in sandpaper. It stings to open it, but it's not malicious.

For the majority of my life, I've been content with my body. It was able to move easily, fit into the clothes I wanted to wear, and had a sort of "invisibility cloak" that exempted me (for the most part) from public scrutiny. Now, I have to adjust to a completely different set of life experiences and expectations for what my day is going to look like. I find myself wanting to stay inside, avoiding the awkward encounters.

Recently, I REALLY got to thinking. What would I tell a student who felt judged for his or her appearance? I'd advise them to tell people how they felt. Have I done that? No, I haven't. My instinct was to protect the jury from embarrassment or guilt by being "nice." I also felt that their judgment of my body had to be right, so it became my inner monologue. I started to worry so much about hearing those words that when they happened, it confirmed the ever-booming voice in my head: "See, there IS something wrong with you."

Check out these sections of my website:
Classroom-Based Counseling
Small Group Counseling
Individual Counseling