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Where to Begin...

6/28/2017

12 Comments

 
I've spent the past month or so trying to think of the best way to say this. Nevertheless, I think I will still come up short. So, I might as well just come out with it: I am no longer in a school counseling position. Just typing those words breaks my heart. However, this was a "conscious uncoupling" from my work relationship, so while painful, it's still a positive thing.

I've been thinking about making a change for a few years, but loved my school community and my job too much to take the plunge. Then, this school year in particular, I was struggling with my oldest son (who now will be receiving services as a preschooler with Autism) and a new baby, all while managing the weight of all of my students' worries, crises, and heartbreaks. I realized that I had to make a difficult decision in order to be the best mom and educator; I needed to step back and focus on a smaller number of students, as opposed to a whole building.

Once the thought popped into my head, I felt sick to my stomach. I consulted with fellow school counselors, had heart-to-hearts with current teachers, and weighed the pros and cons with my supportive husband more times that I can count. At transfer day, I walked in feeling as if I would faint and throw up (in no particular order), knowing that I was about to make a huge, life-changing decision - a decision that I couldn't simply "take back" if I changed my mind. When my name was called, I bid on a First Grade teaching position and well, that was that. The other staff members in the room saw me crying and I'm sure they were thinking, Girl, you got what you wanted. Why are you so upset? Well, to be honest, I was upset for many reasons, but mostly because I wasn't leaving my position because I hated the people or because I had a conflict I needed to run from. I was leaving because I wanted to make sure I took care of my own health in order to best take care of my family and my students.

While I'm beyond ecstatic to start my teaching career (and yes, I'm not naïve and know this will be stressful too), the thought of someone else in MY office, changing MY program, working with MY students is heartbreaking. Maybe that sounds dramatic, but it's true. It's like I broke up with my job, but I'm mad they started dating again. That's not fair, but that's how I feel. I can't have my cake and eat it too, but I wannnnnnnnna.

So, now to what happens to my beloved website. I will absolutely be keeping this website up and running and, when appropriate, will still share ideas that connect with school counseling. I may not be actively working as a school counselor, but I'm still licensed and more importantly, my heart and mind still feel "school counselory." I just can't give up a part of who I am. Not possible.

To all of you who are in similar stages of your career, please don't take my transition into the classroom as a sign of defeat, like the profession is just too much for anyone to handle. Of course school counseling is a tremendously challenging job, but it's amazing too. I think my personal life made it difficult to do everything I was used to doing as a school counselor - it's hard worrying about your child and managing their unique needs, while also being the go-to person for everyone else's struggles.  

Thank you for your kindness and support! I'll still be here to cheer on and advocate for the best profession in the world! :)
12 Comments

Mind Yeti

3/14/2017

0 Comments

 
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I heard about Mind Yeti a little over a year ago when one of my colleagues tried it out. Her K-2 students loved it, so I thought I'd learn more. Once I began exploring the features, I was hooked!

For school counselors, this resource can be used individually, in small groups, during classroom lessons, and for the moments you need to close your door and "reboot" after a rough school moment. That's the beauty of Mind Yeti!
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Mind Yeti provides both a free resource and paid premium service. Through Mind Yeti, you get guided mindfulness sessions to help kids calm down, focus their attention, and transition to new activities. As I'm sure you've heard, mindfulness in the classroom can help create a happy, calm and positive culture. When you have a tool like Mind Yeti, it's easy to integrate mindfulness strategies into your day.

Session categories include: Calm Down, Focus, Get Along, Reset, Create, and Go to Sleep.
I've used Mind Yeti in a variety of settings, but my favorite has been during a 6th Grade classroom lesson. I have a "Relaxation Experiment" for the students and I incorporated Mind Yeti sessions. The students love the calming voices, soothing music, and overall content of the sessions.

Share How You Would Use Mind Yeti!

I'd love to hear about it in the
comment section below!
0 Comments

Taking a Break

3/23/2015

88 Comments

 
It's been a rough year, to say the least, but also a great year. Lately, however, some of the bad has begun to outweigh the good, tarnishing the shiny bits of my life that I cherish.

So, it's with a heavy heart that I announce that I'll be taking a break from my website. I will finish the reviews that need to be published, but after that, I hope to rest. I love my site and the idea of sharing ideas with such amazing colleagues. The problem is my stress level. At this point, my family and my school need a more relaxed me. The pressure of this website has just become too much and hasn't been as fun as it used to be. Recently, I have lost sleep and had a resurgence in anxiety - my perfectionism, my negative self-talk, and my insecurities have woken up with a vengeance, like the three-headed dog at Hogwarts.

In the end, I have to do what's right for my family, my friends, my school, and myself and lull that dog back to sleep. I may be back, but I'm not in a place to make promises. Thank you for your support over the years. Best of luck to all of you!
88 Comments

A Little Perspective

2/20/2015

6 Comments

 
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Ohio has started a new testing program called PARCC and AIR, which involves standardized testing over the course of 4 months. School counselors (and MANY other school and district personnel) are being pulled from their jobs to coordinate schedules and complete an overwhelming amount of paperwork. We also stop all services that may interfere with administering the tests. The rules of these tests are new, so that requires additional training that takes more support away from students. Our once energetic, positive climate has turned into a frantic buzz of stress and anxiety.
It's been a huge adjustment for me. Now, I have to walk around my building apologizing to students and staff for cancelling groups, rescheduling sessions, and skipping classroom lessons. I feel like a failure and a disappointment most of the time.

Now is the time for a little perspective. In the grand scheme of things, these tests don't matter. These limitations have been placed on all Ohio schools (and other states dealing with the same tests) and all we can do is take a deep breath and do the best we can with what we've been given. It doesn't mean that we stop fighting for our students - we just have to accept those things we cannot change immediately.

Last week, my school had a Valentine's dance for 4th-6th grade students (no dates, just fun). Before the dance, I was upset about the lack of time I had to be a REAL school counselor and was dealing with the stress of being pulled in too many directions - the last thing I wanted to do was add more to my plate by chaperoning a dance, even though it was my choice to do so. I cannot tell you how happy I am that I went to the dance. It was wonderful seeing my students in a more relaxed setting, dancing like goofballs and smiling like this was the best night of their lives. I was able to enjoy the people they are and not the "data" they represent on paper. This is why I wanted to work with children - they are fun and make my life brighter with their unique perspective on life.

I figured that many of you might be in the same boat, plugging the little holes before you are engulfed in a sea of negativity, stress, and responsibilities. So, here are some reminders about the beauty of our students:

1.

I read this back in November and couldn't stop laughing. It's all about jokes that kids make that don't exactly make sense. I guarantee a laugh!
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2.

This post from August 2013 definitely brightens my bad days:
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3.

I have a YouTube channel with a lot of playlists, but one that is particularly appropriate for this post is "Brighten Your Day."
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6 Comments

I'm Thankful For...

11/27/2014

2 Comments

 
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I'm thankful for my family, friends, and colleagues. I'm thankful for theatre, which both scares and inspires me. I'm thankful to have a wonderful school to work at each day, a school that embraces and supports our school counseling program. I'm thankful for all that I've been given in my lifetime.
I'm also thankful for all of you. I know I've been "quiet" lately - I've been enjoying my almost 7-month-old, performing in a play, and trying to be the best school counselor I can. Sometimes, you make priorities that are necessary, but difficult. I love blogging, but I knew that I needed a break to enjoy other areas of my life. I promise I'll be back - I have a ton of information to post. My guess is that you'll be sick of me come Winter Break. Until then, have a great few weeks of school! :) 
2 Comments

It's the Most Challenging Time of the Year

10/26/2014

10 Comments

 
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I'm sure none of us are singing a joyful tune about this time of the year. It's stressful, exhausting, and seemingly never-ending.

I recently read a hilarious blog post about this period of the school year and what you are feeling is known as DEVOLSON, the Dark Evil Vortex of Late September, October, and November.

Once I discovered DEVOLSON, I knew I had to share it with my staff. Here are some pictures and free downloads from this special week.
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Signs (PDF)
File Size: 478 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

Cute Pictures (ZIP)
File Size: 1985 kb
File Type: zip
Download File

Notecards (PPT)
File Size: 215 kb
File Type: pptx
Download File

10 Comments

That's What She Said

4/1/2014

0 Comments

 
As you may know, I am currently expecting a baby in May. When I used to imagine pregnancy as this hypothetical, may-never-happen scenario, I thought that it would be a magical, "I'm at peace" type of experience. I thought about what my growing stomach would represent - life, a new beginning, love. I thought about "the glow" that you would radiate, like your own personal sunshine.

Well, that's not exactly what I've experienced.
I struggled with getting pregnant so I thought I'd take everything in stride. I promised myself that no matter what, I wouldn't complain, because I was lucky to have this experience. Of course, I still understand that...I know that...it's just hard to remember sometimes.

The worst part for me is the constant (and I mean CONSTANT) feedback I get from family, friends, and complete strangers. When I say feedback, I mean feedback on my appearance. I've been publicly assessed through every stage of my pregnancy and the public has determined that overall, I'm not up to snuff.
You know the comments: Are you sure you aren't having twins? Whoa, you've really gotten big! That baby is going to be huge! You look even bigger today than you did yesterday. Are you sure you're going to make it?

I know they mean well, so I smile and give one of my prepared "I know" responses. But inside? I feel defeated. I feel judged. I feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel that every minute of every day is an opportunity for someone to label my body. There are mornings when I get dressed and I look in the mirror feeling really good about myself...then I go out in public, receive the verdict on my personal appearance, and instantly get put back in my place. A place that I haven't been in a long time. I DO have to note that I have MANY loving, encouraging, and accepting individuals in my life who help pull me back up and dust off my insecurities. And, like I said earlier, I don't think the negative comments are meant to be negative. It's like a well-meaning gift wrapped in sandpaper. It stings to open it, but it's not malicious.

For the majority of my life, I've been content with my body. It was able to move easily, fit into the clothes I wanted to wear, and had a sort of "invisibility cloak" that exempted me (for the most part) from public scrutiny. Now, I have to adjust to a completely different set of life experiences and expectations for what my day is going to look like. I find myself wanting to stay inside, avoiding the awkward encounters.

Recently, I REALLY got to thinking. What would I tell a student who felt judged for his or her appearance? I'd advise them to tell people how they felt. Have I done that? No, I haven't. My instinct was to protect the jury from embarrassment or guilt by being "nice." I also felt that their judgment of my body had to be right, so it became my inner monologue. I started to worry so much about hearing those words that when they happened, it confirmed the ever-booming voice in my head: "See, there IS something wrong with you."

As a society, we appear to be moving forward. We have shed light on the digital enhancement of professional photographs. We have included plus-sized models in fashion events. We have a "new and improved" doll (right) modeled after an average-sized American 19-year-old. But...we still adjust our photos, we label women "plus-sized," and we celebrate a victory for women based on how a doll LOOKS.

Megan McCormick wrote an interesting piece about the Lammily doll, saying she didn't care what it looks like. McCormick reminds her readers that the public isn't outraged over the ripped physique of superhero figures. Why? Well, as she puts it, "when you think of Superman, you don’t think about his six pack or his rippling muscles. You think about what he can do—the lives he saves, the incredible feats he achieves, even his personality. His appearance isn’t your first priority." In other words, it shouldn't matter what Barbie looks like - we should be focusing on what she can DO.
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If you haven't checked out the "That's What She Said" series from Soulpancake, here's one of the episodes. Women discuss their experiences with beauty and body image; it's amazing how universal these feelings of inadequacy are. For the most part, we have all been judged for our outward appearance, reaping the benefits of what society feels is beautiful or suffering the consequences of not measuring up to the high standards.

The poem at the end is hopeful and empowering. It allowed me to take a step back and enjoy my body for what it's providing - life.


Want to teach your students about self-esteem?

Check out these sections of my website:
Classroom-Based Counseling
Small Group Counseling
Individual Counseling
0 Comments

The Mousetrap

1/8/2014

2 Comments

 
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In June 2013, I auditioned for The Mousetrap at The Valentine Studio A Theatre. Not only would this mark my seventh show in a row, but it would also be my first "professional" theatre credit.

We rehearsed for over three months, sometimes 5 nights a week. For my role, I had to hone my dialect skills, learn fight choreography, brush up on British history, and prepare for some intense, emotional scenes.

As always, this show taught me a great deal about myself. Most importantly, I learned how to push WAY out of my comfort zone. Since I was a portraying a character with significant stage time and dialogue, I had to be extremely focused. It's not just about the lines, it's how you interact with those around you and the story you tell with your performance. I was lucky enough to work with an amazing theatre, talented actors, a demanding director (in the best sense of the word), and a well-organized stage manager who made this possible.
When our show closed, however, this was not the end of the story.

On a happy note, during the production, I learned that I was pregnant. Yes, I was performing, moving into a new house, kicking off a new school year (with my first intern), and carrying a tiny life. There were moments when I felt like I didn't have the energy to get out of bed and start another LONG day, especially since I temporarily lost my evenings and much of my weekends to rehearsals, performances, and putting together a new home. Somehow, though, I made it and now have a cool story to tell my little actor.

On a sad note, after our production closed, one of my friends died unexpectedly - someone who was close to many in our theatre community. I was lucky to have the support of fellow actors and crew members, but it didn't stop the grief from affecting me professionally. At work, I still taught my classroom lessons, ran my small groups, remained focused during individual sessions...I just found myself, when left to the quiet of my office, jumping from thought to thought, task to task. Minutes felt like hours. I came home with bottled up emotions that would fizz and bubble beneath the surface, just waiting for something small to jar my senses so they could explode.

Luckily, I have only known a few tragedies in my life that have occurred during a school year that have affected me this deeply. However, when it does happen, I forget how to function. Even when we don't have personal stress and grief, our work is emotionally and physically draining. How can we take care of ourselves while still being effective school counselors? Grief does not go away overnight, it's a process. We simply can't stay home and avoid our offices until the most intense feelings subside. So, how do we do it?

I'm still trying to answer this question...a question that, ironically, my character in The Mousetrap found herself struggling with as well. I suppose all we can do is breathe, listen to our hearts, and accept the love and support that is all around us. Then, we may just find the peace we need to make it through the worst moments.

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Production photos courtesy of Todd Michaels.
2 Comments

Boo! I'm Back!

10/31/2013

4 Comments

 
The past few months have been the busiest I've ever had. I just bought a house (which came with its own lovely complications and workload), closed a play (Did I mention that I had to perform with a dialect, learn fight choreography, and be on stage a LOT?), moved in with my parents while construction took place at my house (yeah, my apartment was re-rented...), spent every free afternoon and evening taking down wallpaper (NEVER use wallpaper), supervised and continuing to supervise my very first intern (she's awesome!), prepped for 2 presentations (I must have done that in my sleep...well, it sure felt like I was asleep), and faced a pretty big personal milestone (later, friends). Somewhere in there I fit in my regular job and spending time with friends and family.

So, needless to say, something had to give. Unfortunately for my readers, that meant blogging. I thought about it every single day, but just didn't have the time or the energy to do it.

Here's the good news: I am moving, officially, into my home this Saturday. My play is over. I have SO much more free time than I've had for the past 1 1/2 years, so that means I can finally sit in my office (EEEEE! So excited!) and work on uploading the hundreds of ideas and materials that I've accumulated over the years.

Starting Monday, be prepared to wish that I was absent from the blog world...okay, maybe I won't be THAT active, but it will definitely be better.

Thanks for understanding! :)
4 Comments

Time to Refresh and Reboot

9/8/2013

4 Comments

 
My life has been more hectic than usual, which is certainly saying something. I spent my summer taking a class, volunteering at Camp Quality, attending the ASCA conference,  performing in a short film, rehearsing a new play, moving my office to a new location in my building, and searching for my first home. In other words, I didn't allow myself much time to relax.

The past few weeks have felt even more jam-packed. First of all, buying a house is extremely difficult, especially when every experience in this arena has thrown more obstacles my way than I could have imagined or prepared for. In the middle of the negotiation process, my apartment was re-rented, so I had to be out within a few days...yes, at the start of the school year. The extra special bonus was finding time to pack when my husband was starting a new job 1 hour away and while I had rehearsals and cross country practices. I did this to myself, but it didn't make it any less stressful. This is where you're supposed to tell me: "I told you so!"

Anyway, I know things will get easier soon. Once we're moved in, my show is over, and cross country season ends, things will slow down. Despite my desire to be busy, I think I need this time to crash. Today, for example, is my first day with NOTHING extra to do in over 3 weeks. Yep, 3 weeks. That's not healthy.
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This is why I haven't been blogging regularly. When I am stressed, I become more withdrawn. I need space. What's hard is that although I'm a natural introvert, my job and extracurricular activities require me to be bold and extraverted. Therefore, when I come home, I need to be alone so I can recharge and breathe again.

I sincerely thank you for your patience. I have so many ideas and materials to post, but in the end, I have to do what's best for me, my family, and my school. That means taking a break when I need one. I promise I will return at full capacity soon!  
4 Comments
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    My name is Marissa Rex and I am a 1st Grade teacher and an elementary school counselor from Ohio. I hope you enjoy my site!

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