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Recent Additions

2/21/2015

4 Comments

 
Over the past few days, I've posted a bunch of new resources on the website portion of my site. Here are the recent additions:

1.

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This is a classroom lesson for early elementary that discusses what it means to be excellent. I used the book Unicorn Thinks He's Pretty Great, which is hilarious! I HIGHLY recommend it! After reading the book together, students filled out cupcakes with their strengths, which went on a class poster (left).

You can find the full explanation of this lesson here.

2.

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This lesson is geared toward middle to upper elementary and allows for a lot of whole group and small group discussions about anger and bullying. The angry bird theme is a great way to grab your students' attention, creating a buzz of excitement that you need for a lesson that involves so much reflection.

The full lesson can be found here.

3.

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LEGOs and following directions go so well together - why didn't I see this before?!

I created a lesson for a third grade class to help them practice giving and receiving directions, while also emphasizing WHY it's important to do those things well.

The lesson, which can be found here, includes a PowerPoint (with a short video) and interactive worksheet (left).

4.

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The Best Teacher Ever is a great way to discuss "gratitude," especially in a school setting.

For this classroom lesson, we read the book, then created cards and a special video message for the classroom teachers. It's a feel-good lesson that, as a bonus, boosts staff morale.

For more details, click here.

5.

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This is a great opportunity to help students self-reflect. The idea of an iceberg came from a popular Challenge Day exercise where students think about what it means to live "above the water line," and stop hiding who they really are. We want to be comfortable in our own skin, because that is where we can feel true peace and happiness.

On this paper, students write what other people see (top of the iceberg) and what they hide (bottom of the iceberg). This can be an emotional activity, so be prepared for a longer session, if needed. You could also use this paper with small groups or classrooms.

For more ideas like this, click here.

6.

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Need a creative way to recognize your students' positive behaviors? Then try a photo booth! You can make a customized backdrop quickly, easily, and inexpensively.

For more information about my school's photo booth project, click here.
4 Comments

Beautiful Oops

2/19/2015

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Beautiful Oops is one of my favorite books! It's all about looking at "mistakes" in a different way - as an opportunity for creativity and a new perspective.

I've used this with students who struggle with perfectionism and anything that is unexpected. We started by reading the book, then I picked students at random to choose a "mistake" from my table (examples below). The students had to take their paper and turn it into something beautiful. Some of my students struggled, but all of them were able to complete the task. 1 student was absent, so there isn't a finished product for the crumpled paper.

We finished the session with an overall reflection on the topic.
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Book Review: Girl Power Series

1/9/2015

39 Comments

 
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I recently read a book series by Erainna Winnett, founder of Counseling with Heart. The books focus on issues that girls often face, such as comparing yourself to others, dealing with cyberbullying, feeling pulled between two friends, and navigating the confusing world of back-handed compliments.

What I loved about all of these books is that the solutions weren't always easy. We tend to give students blanket suggestions for how to solve their problems, but most of the time, it's not a quick fix. The girls in these stories have to try a few things before they find a good solution, and even then, that solution might not be the fairytale ending that we crave. Sometimes, we lose friends who treat us badly. Sometimes, we have to focus on what we can do rather than how to change someone else's behavior.
Erainna's books also include follow-up activities on the last few pages, which is great for the school counselor on-the-go. It's Good to be Me even has an activity built into the story - how perfect is that?!

I would definitely recommend these books for your elementary school counseling programs. I would most likely use them in a small group setting and focus on one book per week. We'd discuss the topic and overall story, then complete a follow-up activity to check for understanding. I think these are great for 3rd-4th grade students, but you may find them beneficial for 5th and 6th graders as well.

Post a comment below to be entered into a drawing for your own autographed Girl Power book set. The deadline is January 16, 2015 and the winner will be selected at random (with a computerized tool). I'd love to hear how you'd use these books in your own school counseling program and/or the types of activities you've tried in your girl groups.
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Are you an author? Do you have a book that you would like me to review on my blog? If so, contact me at marissa@elementaryschoolcounseling.org. I'd be happy to check out your work and spread the word to my readers.
39 Comments

The Confidence Code

6/20/2014

0 Comments

 
I try my hardest to avoid gender stereotyping. I often hear adults explain a student's behavior based on what society expects from boys and girls. You've heard it before...

                        "He's just a boy. He's going to hit someone if they start something."
                        "She's just a girl. She's a little emotional sometimes."

There are countless variations, but the message is the same: Boys are strong, confident, and aggressive; girls are gentle, sweet, and emotional. When little boys fall, we tell them they are fine and to dust themselves off. When little girls scrape their knees, we hug them and wipe their tears away. We, as a society, send a clear message about what we expect from each gender and we do this often without realizing it.

Is this a big deal, you may be asking? I know branching out and expanding our minds when it comes to gender stereotyping can be threatening to those who fear change. It can be threatening when an individual may benefit from the stereotype and/or when he or she genuinely enjoys their role. What I worry about is the shame boys and girls feel when they don't fit in. I worry about the box they feel stuck in and the environment that's stifling their development.
I stumbled upon a video discussing the "wussification" of men. In this video, the author expresses genuine horror at the thought of men or women deviating from their traditional gender roles.

One of the news anchors asks: "How do we teach our children to be who they are? How do we teach our boys to be boys and our girls to be girls without fitting them into these stereotypes?"

The question is its own answer, don't you think?
I may have already lost you. You may be angry at my opinion and you have every right to be, just as I have every right to be angry at the idea that feminism (seeing women as EQUAL, not better) is destroying our world and our men.

Pantene's #ShineStrong compaign (right) demonstrates this perfectly. Women often feel compelled to apologize for their thoughts and opinions. They can't be too forward or aggressive, lest they be considered the "b-word." I know I am guilty of saying "I'm sorry" to lessen the power and authority of my words.
So, where am I going with this? Well, school counselors have an opportunity to expose students to different ideas and encourage their interests and special skills. We can help a young girl who loves math gain the confidence she needs to stick with her advanced coursework and join math-related clubs, even if there are few females doing the same. We can support a boy who loves to dance more than he loves shooting hoops. We can love the students who DO fit their gender stereotypes and find ways to help them love, respect, and understand those who don't. And vice versa.
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I know this post already has a lot of videos, but I had to share this interview from The Colbert Report as well. Katty Kay and Claire Shipman wrote a book about self-assurance, specifically what causes women to lack the confidence they need to be as successful as they can be. I took their confidence quiz and found out that I have "high confidence." Funnily enough, I was nervous that I'd be labeled otherwise. What's great about the quiz is that the authors provide suggestions for how I can keep my level of confidence and how to help others boost their confidence as well.

Use the #ConfidenceCode hashtag to share your own experiences and even nominate a confident woman in your life. Just visit www.theconfidencecode.com for more information.
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Want to take the Confidence Quiz?

Click here!


For more self-concept lessons, visit my small group and classroom counseling pages.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Colbert Report on Facebook

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That's What She Said

4/1/2014

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As you may know, I am currently expecting a baby in May. When I used to imagine pregnancy as this hypothetical, may-never-happen scenario, I thought that it would be a magical, "I'm at peace" type of experience. I thought about what my growing stomach would represent - life, a new beginning, love. I thought about "the glow" that you would radiate, like your own personal sunshine.

Well, that's not exactly what I've experienced.
I struggled with getting pregnant so I thought I'd take everything in stride. I promised myself that no matter what, I wouldn't complain, because I was lucky to have this experience. Of course, I still understand that...I know that...it's just hard to remember sometimes.

The worst part for me is the constant (and I mean CONSTANT) feedback I get from family, friends, and complete strangers. When I say feedback, I mean feedback on my appearance. I've been publicly assessed through every stage of my pregnancy and the public has determined that overall, I'm not up to snuff.
You know the comments: Are you sure you aren't having twins? Whoa, you've really gotten big! That baby is going to be huge! You look even bigger today than you did yesterday. Are you sure you're going to make it?

I know they mean well, so I smile and give one of my prepared "I know" responses. But inside? I feel defeated. I feel judged. I feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel that every minute of every day is an opportunity for someone to label my body. There are mornings when I get dressed and I look in the mirror feeling really good about myself...then I go out in public, receive the verdict on my personal appearance, and instantly get put back in my place. A place that I haven't been in a long time. I DO have to note that I have MANY loving, encouraging, and accepting individuals in my life who help pull me back up and dust off my insecurities. And, like I said earlier, I don't think the negative comments are meant to be negative. It's like a well-meaning gift wrapped in sandpaper. It stings to open it, but it's not malicious.

For the majority of my life, I've been content with my body. It was able to move easily, fit into the clothes I wanted to wear, and had a sort of "invisibility cloak" that exempted me (for the most part) from public scrutiny. Now, I have to adjust to a completely different set of life experiences and expectations for what my day is going to look like. I find myself wanting to stay inside, avoiding the awkward encounters.

Recently, I REALLY got to thinking. What would I tell a student who felt judged for his or her appearance? I'd advise them to tell people how they felt. Have I done that? No, I haven't. My instinct was to protect the jury from embarrassment or guilt by being "nice." I also felt that their judgment of my body had to be right, so it became my inner monologue. I started to worry so much about hearing those words that when they happened, it confirmed the ever-booming voice in my head: "See, there IS something wrong with you."

As a society, we appear to be moving forward. We have shed light on the digital enhancement of professional photographs. We have included plus-sized models in fashion events. We have a "new and improved" doll (right) modeled after an average-sized American 19-year-old. But...we still adjust our photos, we label women "plus-sized," and we celebrate a victory for women based on how a doll LOOKS.

Megan McCormick wrote an interesting piece about the Lammily doll, saying she didn't care what it looks like. McCormick reminds her readers that the public isn't outraged over the ripped physique of superhero figures. Why? Well, as she puts it, "when you think of Superman, you don’t think about his six pack or his rippling muscles. You think about what he can do—the lives he saves, the incredible feats he achieves, even his personality. His appearance isn’t your first priority." In other words, it shouldn't matter what Barbie looks like - we should be focusing on what she can DO.
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If you haven't checked out the "That's What She Said" series from Soulpancake, here's one of the episodes. Women discuss their experiences with beauty and body image; it's amazing how universal these feelings of inadequacy are. For the most part, we have all been judged for our outward appearance, reaping the benefits of what society feels is beautiful or suffering the consequences of not measuring up to the high standards.

The poem at the end is hopeful and empowering. It allowed me to take a step back and enjoy my body for what it's providing - life.


Want to teach your students about self-esteem?

Check out these sections of my website:
Classroom-Based Counseling
Small Group Counseling
Individual Counseling
0 Comments

Don't Worry. Be Happy.

3/5/2014

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At my District Leadership Team meeting this evening, we opened with this very entertaining and also VERY enlightening video from TEDx Talks. The presenter, Shawn Achor, discusses how happiness can positively impact our lives, including how successful we feel at work, home, and beyond.

I think this would be a great video to show at a staff meeting or to cut into segments to discuss with older students. I would like to use these concepts to help my 6th graders, in particular, find better ways to deal with stress, disappointment, frustration, and failure. There are some aspects of the talk that may be inappropriate for your intended population, so be sure to view and decide which sections, if any, you'd like to share with those specific individuals.

Just watch. You will be glad you did.

How would you use this video to help your
students and/or staff?

Let me know your ideas in the comments section! :)
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Gifted Education and School Counseling

2/7/2014

4 Comments

 
I've been meaning to write this post for a while now, but haven't been able to find the words to adequately express my thoughts on the subject. Gifted Education is one of those topics that causes my head and heart to merge, creating a swirl of ideas, memories, thoughts, and feelings. Flashes of my old classrooms and peers pour into my mind, pushing all rationality to the bottom, almost as if I'm drowning in the past.

Okay, this is a little dramatic, but hey, I'm a little dramatic.

The rest of this post is just a snapshot of my thoughts on the subject of Gifted Education and may not be particularly useful, but I still wanted to put it out there.

When I was in 3rd grade, I remember being isolated from the rest of my class so I could work on different assignments. In 4th grade, I began our district's Gifted Education program (G.A.T.E.). I was taken out of my classroom 2 days a week to practice critical thinking skills and spend time with other kids who qualified. I don't remember having any of this explained to me. It just became a part of my school life.

I loved my G.A.T.E. classes and wanted to share what I was learning with my friends...it turns out that they did not want to know. In fact, my closest friends made fun of me, hid from me at recess, and I remember crying almost every day at school. I started to feel like standing out was a bad thing because it made other people uncomfortable - it made you lose friends, a currency worth more than gold in the school world. I began to slack off by rushing through my homework, quitting my favorite clubs or groups if my friends didn't make the cut, and pretending like I knew less than I did. By 8th grade, I decided to quit G.A.T.E. and take other lower level classes instead. Since my junior high grades were good (straight A's), no one said anything to me. No one asked why I was doing what I was doing. All I wanted was to fight my urge to push myself and stand out, but felt forced into a little box.   

It took me years to overcome the little voice in my head saying, "Don't make other people uncomfortable." I wish I was able to have the confidence to be my authentic self back in elementary school when the pressure to conform was strongest. I wish someone would have noticed that my tears and my subtle withdrawal was more than just me being a sensitive kid. It was me feeling like I could never fit in no matter what group I was in. I felt like I wasn't smart enough for the G.A.T.E. kids and wasn't cool enough for the rest of my class. I was a misfit, just finding ways to cover up who I really was with different clothes, different hobbies, and a different personality.
This past November, I attended a conference about Gifted Ed that brought all of these memories to the surface. As our keynote speaker, Dr. Jim Delisle, explained research on students who are gifted and support strategies to use, I felt myself tearing up. I thought back to recess, when a student kicked a ball at me, causing me to fall into a puddle of mud. I thought back to 7th grade G.A.T.E. when I felt like I didn't even fit in socially with my fellow gifted students and began to withdraw further. I thought back to college classes, counting how many times I raised my hand so I wouldn't be annoying to the rest of the class.
School struggles of any kind don't just go away. In fact, as I re-read this post I can't help but want to delete what I've written out of fear of being misunderstood. Feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing are villains that are difficult to overcome without some help, but that's why there are school counselors, right?!

As school counselors, we can help our gifted students (a population typically pushed to the side because they are "easier") find the confidence they need to achieve great things. We can teach them social skills, organization, goal-setting, and stress management. We can be their safe place to vent. We can remind them that even if they feel alone now, it gets better. The world is a big place with big possibilities. They will find lasting friendships with those who will appreciate and challenge them. We can remind them to never give up.

I hope my story feels more educational than self-indulgent. Of course, it DOES feel good to express the feelings I bottled up for so long, so maybe it was a little self-indulgent. I just want school counselors to remember this population of students because it's easy to leave them behind.

Thanks for listening. :)

Helpful Resources

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Great Websites

Davidson Institute for Talent Development www.davidsongifted.org
Jim Delisle www.creativelearningconsultants.com/jimdelisle.html
Top Blogs http://giftedchallenges.blogspot.com/2013/08/top-blogs-about-gifted-children-gifted.html
4 Comments

Excellence

12/7/2013

0 Comments

 
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This month, my school district's core value is "excellence."

I decided to shake things up a bit and try a new lesson with my kindergartners. It turned out to be a very cute, but still educational classroom lesson.

To learn more about this activity, click here.

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Cloudette

11/10/2013

2 Comments

 
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Cloudette is an adorable picture book about a tiny cloud who wants to do something important. One day, a big storm hits and she is blown far from her home to a new, unfamiliar place. Cloudette has to find the courage to make friends and show those friends what's special about her.

Here is the activity I did with my kindergarten students after reading the book. They loved it!
Cloudette Header (PDF)
File Size: 104 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

Clouds and Raindrops (PDF)
File Size: 182 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

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2 Comments

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall...

4/20/2013

4 Comments

 
Within the last week, Dove's "Real Beauty Sketches" video has been plastered over social media accounts. In fact, I discovered it through Carli Counsels, a wonderful new elementary school counseling blog.

It's amazing how quickly good resources and thought-provoking content can spread! I love that I am able to better my school counseling program by engaging in social media. (Insert shout-out to Marty Stevens for encouraging me to join Twitter in the first place!) 
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If you haven't watched "Real Beauty Sketches," what are you waiting for?! Press play...NOW! ;)

I am fairly confident that if I were in these women's shoes, I would have been just as hard on myself. This begs the question: If we are consciously or subconsciously self-haters, how can we teach young children to avoid that path? How an individual feels about their outward appearance is usually quite apparent - body language and clothing choices, in particular, give you away. So, wouldn't our students notice that we are not practicing what we preach? They are looking to us for advice, but are we qualified to give it? I think it's time for us to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.
The Dove Social Mission, in general, is a wonderful resource for school counselors. I think you could use almost any of their videos or materials with your intermediate level students. Personally, I would opt for 5th and 6th graders.

I created a companion workpage (left) for the "Real Beauty Sketches" series, that would give students the opportunity to share how they see one of their peers. This would work best in a small group setting, so students have the chance to reflect and share in a more controlled, safe environment.

I have conducted a similar lesson called "Compliment Circle," an activity where group members must provide positive feedback for everyone in the group. I start by giving every student a piece of blank paper and having them write their name at the top. Then, everyone passes their paper to the person on their left. The students write something positive about the person on their paper. When everyone is finished, we pass the papers again. This continues until the students have written on every paper but their own. Before the compliments are revealed, I have students discuss how they are feeling (anticipation, worries, etc.). Then, students read their compliments. Again, we reflect as a group on the peer feedback and discuss how this could positively impact our friendships.
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Why You Are Special (PDF)
File Size: 200 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

Why You Are Special (WORD)
File Size: 29 kb
File Type: docx
Download File

Once students hear positive feedback from their peers, it's important to work on their own "inner critics" as well. Sometimes, we rely too heavily on praise and reassurance from others - we need to learn how to generate that from within. You could do this by having students complete the above workpage for themselves (before seeing what their peer created), then compare the two.

I hope there will be a day when image will no longer hold us back, preventing talented individuals from reaching their dreams and performing to their fullest potential. In the meantime, we need to help each other see what's REALLY reflecting in our mirrors...and that's beautiful. :)
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    My name is Marissa Rex and I am a 1st Grade teacher and an elementary school counselor from Ohio. I hope you enjoy my site!

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