Stop This Train

6/19/2013

Yesterday afternoon, I returned to my undergraduate campus, Bowling Green State University, to speak with a group of school counseling students (more on that soon). As I walked by the buildings and took in the sights, sounds, and smells (yes, smells) of my old college life, I couldn't help but feel a little sad. Yes, I LOVE my job, but honestly, if I could be a student forever and make a living, I might be tempted to do so.

Perhaps these strong emotions also came from a desire to be young and free again. Of course, I recognize that I'm not exactly "old," but oldER. I remember what it felt like to be in college and know that I had an open path in front of me, full of exciting possibilities and new experiences.

Now, life is pretty set. I got my dream job, I have a wonderful husband, other doors are opening for me professionally...yet, I still sometimes have the desire to go "home" again.

This makes me think of a particularly beautiful John Mayer song (above) called "Stop This Train," which discusses what it feels like to grow up. One of my favorite lyrics says, "I'm so scared of getting older. I'm only good at being young."

Those words bring up a good point: Will I be a different school counselor 10 years from now? 20 years? 30?

I sort of hate to admit this, but I often wonder if my students will still like me? Right now, being one of the younger staff members in my building, I have the "cool" factor. In many ways, I'm like their big sister or their aunt. We're not equals, but we have a smaller generational gap to close. I get them and they get me.

I also worry about emotional fatigue. Will I be able to deal with the stress of this career for 35 years? How will I feel about my life at that point? Will I feel like I've made a difference or will I feel like I misused the time I had during my younger years?

I guess, in the end, all we can do is live in the moment and do the best we can. We may not be able to stop the train, but we can focus on the present. After all, in the coming years, those will be our "good ol' days" that we're striving to get back to. We might as well enjoy them now.

Looking back, in high school, I missed being the little kid playing in the backyard. In college, I missed the simplicity of high school. Now, I miss the freedom that college represented. No matter what, we mourn the loss of significant milestones, but that should offer hope.

Our future will hold great memories too. We need to appreciate our surroundings, not the track behind or ahead of us. In doing so, maybe the train won't move quite as fast.

Anyone want to write a song about that? ;)

8 Comments

Erin Mason link

6/19/2013 07:27:58 am

Marissa, I LOVE this post. The title really caught my eye and I just had to go in at that moment to read it. I started out as a School Counselor at 25. Now I'm 42. I spent 13 years in 3 different schools and have just finished my 5th year as a Counselor Educator. It is MIND-BOGGLING for me to consider all that I've done since I started. I'm in a dramatically different place and not one that I envisioned.

I can vouch for that fact that in 18 years there are joys and challenges at every phase. I don't regret anything that has happened or the choices I've made because they've all led to me being where I am now. After years on the front lines, I chose higher ed for a number of reasons:

1. Because I needed a new challenge.
2. Because I wanted to give to the profession in a different way.
3. Because I savor the intellectual energy of graduate school.
4. Because to continue being a student, I needed to become a professor.
5. Because being "Dr. Mason" is pretty cool.

Like you, I often wondered if my middle school students would think I was "cool." I've found there is a great deal of parallel in how I think about my graduate students now and yes, I wonder if after a period of time they will think I am still "cool."

Who knows where we will go next but it is encouraging to see where we've come from and exciting to ponder the possibilities of the future. Enjoying the journey is where it's at if only we can stop to take a breath. Oh, and by the way, I went to high school with Ed Helms ("Andy Bernard"). Pretty cool, huh?

Marissa Rex link

6/20/2013 04:36:40 am

Thank you so much, Erin! I definitely appreciate your insight and experience in the school counseling field. Down the road, my goal is to become a Counselor Educator as well, but I'm not sure when I will officially start that process.

Also, that's so cool that you went to high school with Ed Helms! The actor side of me is super jealous and impressed. ;)

Stephan

6/19/2013 07:34:58 am

I did write a song like that. I haven't recorded it yet, but it's called "My Oh My"

Marissa Rex link

6/20/2013 04:37:09 am

Cool! Once you record it, I'd love to hear it! :)

Mary Murray

6/19/2013 11:56:06 am

First of all, I want to say that I so enjoy your blog, Marissa. Thank you for writing it. I am learning so many new things from you. I am 61 years old and I became a school counselor when I was 40. For many years I worked in an alternative high school and I so enjoyed working with teenagers. A couple of years ago I transferred to working with elementary students and I love this also. And the kids love me. I think they see me kind of like a grandma and that is okay with me. Our principal just retired at 70 years old and it was obvious she loved it to the end. She said something awhile back that really struck home for me. She said that the key for her was getting excited about new things that she learned and did. She said she could have retired several years before, but she was having too much fun. It made sense to me because I am having too much fun and that is what the kids pick up on--that we are having fun and that we care about them.

Marissa Rex link

6/20/2013 04:38:48 am

Thank you so much, Mary! I think that's a great way to think about it. As long as we love our job and are putting forth our best effort, it doesn't matter how old we are. :)

Kelly Johnson

6/21/2013 11:44:59 am

Marissa, I think processing these thoughts and having the courage to do it out loud tells me you'll always be fine. You'll know if and when it's time to move on. And caring is ALWAYS "cool" (especially to younger kids!)

Marissa Rex link

6/25/2013 08:42:41 am

Thank you, Kelly! I appreciate that! :)

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